Taking Drastic Measures

Betsy is pulling out her greatest weapon. She’s ready to beat the living crap out of anxiety and depression by all means possible. At this rate, Betsy might start a positive vibes only gang. Will you join her?

Webcomic made with Procreate


It ain’t easy living with anxiety and depression. It sucks. Recently, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with moments that, logically, I know I can’t control. But, my heart feels like I can be in control. And while some things may feel like there’s no hope at the end of the tunnel, I’m holding onto the notion that there’s a silver lining after everything else is said and done. Sometimes, I ask myself if what I’m doing is enough. And moments of feeling that I need to give 100% everyday when, energetically speaking, feels like I’m not meeting the quota. Having those talks in trying to convince myself that I’m doing what I can feels like a never ending battle of the heart and mind.

What’s been helping me as of late is writing out my thoughts more via my journal on what I’ve been feeling grateful for and putting in my prayer requests. It allows me to be honest when I’m writing out my day and what I would like to accomplish in my waking life. And perhaps hoping that the Universe would give me a sign (no brain, please don’t resort to the Britney Spears song 🤦🏻‍♀️)

I guess my prayers have been answered when a ladybug landed on me last night while I was writing in my journal! Here she is, roaming around my Kindle and iPad Pro. I remember hearing a *plop* sound when she landed on my desk 😂 I was so concerned that she was dead upon arrival. Thankfully, I saw movement when she moved around my desk.

We decided to set her free by having her go back outside. As much as I wished I could’ve kept her, it was the right thing to let her go back home to where she came from. My husband said that it’s a good sign for things to come.

I guess, in every sense of the word, the ladybug was the positive vibes that landed on me unexpectedly. And perhaps a good reminder that I have the power to do better for myself.

Namaste,

Diana

Having a support system to overcome the bad moments

Betsy understands that her family helps her get through the hard times. She’s misunderstood by others. But Mister & Missy appreciates her unique nature. Betsy is comfortable in sharing her thoughts without feeling judged or ridiculed.


Having a support system goes a long way. To me, I’m grateful for my close family members and friends who have been there for me since Day 1. Being an artist, I sometimes feel that the illustrations I make do not fit in the cookie cutter mould on how art should look like.

But, that’s the beauty about artwork. There’s no limitations to your creativity. Being reminded about my happiness in creating my Betsy illustrations after my last post made me feel reassured that my heart is in the right place.

I don’t have the answers on what an artist should and should not do in terms of their creativity. But what I can share is that it’s so important to find a support system that will build you up, provide honest feedback and cheer you on even through your darkest moments.

We all need love and encouragement. There’s no reason for us to place ourselves in a toxic circle who would constantly hate on our work when deep down inside, their insecurities show through their actions and beyond the surface.

Understandably, not many of us have the luxury on having a support system immediately at the beginning of their creative inception. But, do know that you have others out there (including myself) who believes in your work. There are others who will support your quirks, your witty captions, etc.

Out of the sea of negativity that I’ve seen on social media, there are a few good positive accounts that shine brightly. In the midst of the tragedy, bullying and gaslighting, I’m grateful for seeing others putting on a brave face while posting inspirational work.

I’m still struggling in maintaining my upbeat nature. But I’m glad that I have others who I can lean on and my faith to get me by through the rough patches.

Namaste,

Diana


If you happen to like my work, a simple donation is greatly appreciated. Every share, comment and like on my posts really helps me out. I love connecting with y’all and I hope these posts provide inspiration and humour to your day 🐮

Hello anxiety, my old friend

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Having anxiety and depression sucks. 

For the past two weeks, I’ve been experiencing stomach pains and fatigue. Not to sound like a pessimist, but I sometimes wish I wasn’t so tired. Staying in bed and playing Nintendo Switch helped me cope over the weekend. But I can’t do that forever. 

The thing is, having depression makes me feel tired to the point of not pursuing my passion projects. Add anxiety on top of it and I end up with an unsavoury cocktail of emotions and pain. As a working mother, I struggle with balancing my own health, making sure my kid is healthy, trying to excel at my job and having food on the table. 

I’m not here to garner sympathy from others. I’m just stating the reality of my life. It really sucks feeling this way. Sadly, we’re taught to keep our mouth shut about our mental health, especially to mothers. I’m not going to keep quiet about how I feel.

My old friend anxiety told me in my mind that there was no point in having social media. That I’m wasting my time doing all of this for nothing. Sadly, I believed what it told me. So, I ended up deactivating my Instagram and Facebook accounts, without explanation. I can faintly hear the hissing of agreement from anxiety, as I proceeded with the final confirmation of my deactivation.  

The next day, my husband and close friends asked me why I deactivated the accounts. I didn’t have the right words to say, other than the fact that I was tired of seeing curated images from others online who seem to have their shit together. As much as I’ve learned that the curated images are actually from humans with actual feelings who aren’t perfect – in my mind, I felt that my content wasn’t up to par with others. That no matter how I’m able to post the perfect hashtags to get visibility, it just didn’t feel enough. 

What I said above may sound silly. And you’re right. After writing out my actual thoughts about how I view social media as a whole, I’ve come to the conclusion that I ended up dwelling on something that shouldn’t have bothered me in the first place. 

So in every sense, this post is an apology letter to those who wondered what happened to my social media accounts. As of now, it’s been reactivated.

I was reminded by my husband on one simple factor – “Just focus on creating Betsy. Don’t worry about visibility or those hashtag things. Your enjoyment comes first.”

And I’ll keep doing so. 

Many thanks to those who reached out and checked up on my well being. Means a lot 💕 if you want to support my work, my handmade shop is still open. You can also check out my apparel. If you’re feeling generous, a simple donation is appreciated.

Namaste,
Diana

We’re in this together, moo.

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Betsy knows that it’s rough out there. All the negativity, the hate, the strife. Makes you want to stay in bed and not move a single inch to face reality. She understands and wants you to know that you’re not alone.

A bit of positivity goes a long way. I want you to know that you’re doing the best you can. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not doing enough.

You are enough. 
You are strong.
You are meant to be here.
You have every reason to exist.
You have the ability to make things better.
You are brave.

Most importantly…

You’re human. 

Sending you love and hugs your way. I believe in you. Let me know what you’re going through in the comments below. I’m here to listen.

Namaste,
Diana

Floating above the negativity

Happy Friday, friends 👋 I hope the month of May has been treating you well 😊

Today, I wanted to share my new piece that started off traditionally and ended up making the edits via Procreate. I really love capturing Betsy’s expression while holding a balloon 🎈

My husband asked me what was my obsession in drawing Betsy holding balloons 😅 The truth is, I was once afraid of balloons growing up. And clowns 🤡 I think it was because I saw Stephen King’s It movie that made me afraid of them while growing up 😟

Over time, I decided to grow out of that fear and finally embraced them. Perhaps by drawing Betsy holding a balloon symbolises my way of compromising my brain and learning to let go of my childhood fear.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling more down as of late. As May is coming to a close and on the topic of Mental Health Awareness, I wanted to share how I’ve been feeling.

To begin with, I’ve had some doubts on my ability to maintain my sanity while being a decent human being. There were some moments that I felt out of place and often question myself Why am I doing this? On top of working full time, I’ve had some moments where I just felt tired and giving up 😓 Sometimes, those panic attacks creep in and trying to ruin my groove. Often, I would have to take breaks in settling myself to the best of my ability.

It’s also not fun hearing my thoughts with phrases like:

You don’t deserve happiness.

Your coworkers think you’re weird and stupid.

You don’t have any friends because you’re a horrible person.

I’m surprised you’re a mom and wife with the way you are.

You’re fat and ugly.

Your family tolerates you but they secretly hate you.

…and the list goes on.

For me, the idea of “floating above the negativity” is my way of reassuring myself that I do have the ability in rising above from toxic people, thoughts and situations. Is it easy to do so? Not really. But, I do my best in keeping things in stride when proceeding to higher ground than where I was originally at in the first place. It’s a balancing act.

How do you rise above the negativity? 🤔 Would love to hear your thoughts 💭

Namaste,

Diana

2019 Birthday Reflections

Another year round trip to the Sun. Happy birthday to me 🎂

I don’t have any major plans on my day, except to have a quiet dinner, watch my favourite movies and catch up on my sleep.

Birthdays tend to be a weird moment for me to sit back and reflect. It’s crazy to think that within the one year, I’ve managed to do the following:

  • Start up a webcomic blog.
  • Create my first visual novel game.
  • Get hired by a job that I love doing during my daytime hours.
  • Seeing improvements on my artwork after putting it off for quite some time.

On a personal note, it was a time where I’ve been more mindful of my social media usage. As someone who has been struggling with depression, taking a step back from the online world has made me more aware of what’s going on.

I’m thankful to have my family and close friends during this time. Getting older feels a bit daunting. But I’m embracing the new year with hope and a chance to become a better person (whether personal or professionally).

Thank you to those who took the time to wish me well during my birthday. Truly means a lot to me (and Betsy) 🐮

Namaste,

Diana

The biggest lie I’ve told myself

Recently, I’ve encountered a bad comment on a drawing that was shared by a well known art supply company. I felt proud of the progress. At the same time, I also felt a bit doubtful.

Needless to say, the person that wrote the bad comment didn’t give any inclusion on how it can be improved. It just simply mentioned that it was bad. Okay…thanks, I guess? I didn’t expect that the company decided to share my image on their platform. As such, it looked like it was deleted originally from the company page and the person decides to write in again on how my artwork sucked. Talk about persistence. The only thing I can do at the moment was block and ignore.

I’m generally open to receiving feedback, so long as they are constructive and aligned with the purpose of improving. After all, no one is an expert and we’re all learning our crafts through trial and error. No one is expected to know everything overnight.

In these moments, I keep telling myself that everything is fine. That everything will pass and people will forget. Even after reporting the instances and minding my own business, you figured everything will settle in the dust, right? Not quite so…

When you have an inner critic telling you the negative comments are valid and want you to feel like shit, that’s when it becomes mental torture. No one can’t see your struggles. Only you can feel them, slowly aching away your soul as you’re wrestling with the inner demons.

It’s one thing to face the negative comments online. But I think the greater battlefield in all of this is when it occurs in your mind. You can’t escape from it.

It’s been a constant feeling for many years and unfortunately, it’s not something it can disappear permanently. On some days, I’m fine (without lying to myself). And other times, I’m feeling the pressure and weight on myself while attempting to hide the depression. Sometimes it comes from my ability to overthink situations. Other times, it comes from outside influences.

Not every battle happens on the physical level. Many of us are facing with our struggles and are doing the best we can to cope through it all. I think as an artist in trying to convey these emotional pieces into something tangible has been a good way for me to express my sensitive moments. Sharing these experiences with everyone has given me a better perspective on how many of us are dealing with our mental health. And my hope is that others can feel and perhaps relate to the struggles.

Every day, I’m finding ways in setting boundaries, silencing the inner critic and ignoring the folks from the online world who are either passive aggressive, mean or sadists. It’s not easy. For others, it may look easy. But emotionally, it isn’t the case.

I realise that once I started showcasing my work, everyone wants to be a critic. Unfortunately, that can’t be helped. Everyone will always have an opinion. It makes me wonder how famous celebrities cope with these types of large scale criticisms.

My own happiness is what I create and share in a conscious manner, while not being swayed into thinking that I should hide and live in fear. The lesson I’ve learned is that not everyone will be on board with your passion projects. Additionally, we are our own worst enemies. That nagging voice in my mind telling me that I’m no good and the trolls are actually right about me? For now, she’s on vacation. She might make an appearance again. But until then, she’s not welcomed in front of my doorstep.

Have you had moments where you’ve dealt with your inner and outer critics? What did you do to cope with these moments? Let me know in the comments below.

Namaste,
Diana